My Racist MIL Dyed and Straightened My Daughter’s Hair – Reddit

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A Personal Tale of Racism and Heartbreak

Last week, I took my 4-year-old daughter, Anya, to get her hair cut. As we sat in the salon, my mother-in-law (MIL), who is white, asked the stylist to dye Anya’s hair blonde and straighten it. I was shocked. Anya is biracial, with beautiful, curly black hair.

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My Racist Mil Dyed And Straightened My Daughters Hair Reddit

I told my MIL that I wanted to keep Anya’s hair natural, but she insisted that Anya would look “prettier” with straight, blonde hair. She said that Anya’s natural hair was “unruly” and “not professional.” I was heartbroken. My MIL was trying to erase my daughter’s identity and make her look more like her.

The History of Hair Racism

Hair racism is the discrimination against people with certain hair textures, such as curly, kinky, or coily hair. It is based on the belief that straight, European-style hair is superior to other hair textures.

This belief has its roots in colonialism and slavery. Europeans used hair texture to classify and dehumanize Africans and other non-European peoples. They believed that straight hair indicated intelligence and civilization, while curly hair indicated primitiveness and savagery.

This belief has been perpetuated by the media, which has often depicted black people with straight hair as more successful, beautiful, and desirable than those with natural hair. This has led to a widespread internalization of hair racism within the black community, with many black people feeling that they need to straighten their hair in order to be accepted.

The Impact of Hair Racism on Children

Hair racism can have a devastating impact on children. It can lead to low self-esteem, body dysmorphia, and even depression. Children who are teased or bullied about their hair may start to believe that there is something wrong with them. They may try to hide their hair, or they may even try to change their hair texture.

In Anya’s case, my MIL’s attempt to straighten her hair was an act of violence. It was a way of telling Anya that her natural hair was not good enough. It was a way of trying to make her more like her white grandmother and less like her black mother.

What Parents Can Do

If you are the parent of a child with natural hair, it is important to be aware of the dangers of hair racism. You need to teach your child to love their hair and to be proud of their identity. You need to create a safe space where they can feel comfortable expressing themselves.

You should also talk to your child about hair racism and its history. Help them to understand that there is nothing wrong with their hair and that they should not let anyone tell them otherwise.


Hair racism is a serious problem that can have a devastating impact on children. It is important to be aware of the issue and to take steps to protect your children from its harmful effects.

Are you interested in learning more about hair racism?

Here are some resources:

My Racist Mil Dyed And Straightened My Daughters Hair Reddit

My RACIST MIL dyed and STRAIGHTENED my mixed daughter's hair, so I ...

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